"First you need only look," writes Anne Hillman, "Notice and honor the radiance of everything about you... Play in the universe. Tend all these shining things around you: the smallest plant, the creatures and objects in your care. Be gentle and nurture, listen," she urges, "as we experience and accept all that we really are...we grow in care."
I was not raised on conscious prayer. It was something I knew about through the culture and every once in a while tried..(.to get that strike at the bowling alley or lift up a hope for a friend)... But I did not know how it could fit in my life. I went through long periods not even thinking about prayer—what it does, how it might help me, whether any one or essence would be listening.
Of course I was living my life stating and putting into action daily intentions realized or not. But my sense of connectedness to a presence or process outside of myself was recognized for me primarily through community endeavors and theatre arts. What generally compelled me to action was authority of various kinds which I was good at pleasing, and later on the consequent therapy of many flavors of which I was good at attending. I realize now the river of my intuition flowed regardless of my self doubt and separate journeys, and the deeper sense of life abided through all my machinations of control. It still does abide...the forbearance and endurance of the universe is astounding. The concept of prayer as it attends my life is a fairly new concept for me...I've been working on it for a couple decades.... When I started working as a minister, I felt I carried an uncomfortable secret....that I struggled with prayer.
I remember a time, years before seminary, I was walking the streets in Boston feeling troubled and alone and I thought, well, why don't I try prayer. So I thought I'd start with the prayer I'd heard most, the Lord's Prayer. "Our Father.." I started and then thought no, I don't believe in a big daddy figure watching over us..let me try... "God" which is in heaven....no, I don't think of God as out there far away in some heaven place...let me try...who art in...well, if I think of heaven as a state of being that is available I could go that way ok...."God" who is in heaven, hallowed be thy name...ok, that works...hallowed be thy name...thy Kingdom", now, wait a minute, Kingdom....no...first of all its too male and second of all its too much about ruling... how about...."realm" ok, thy realm become.....You get the gist...
...much like that comment that Unitarian Universalists struggle with singing hymns because they are reading ahead in the verses to make sure they agree with the words... Which also points to the important faith discipline of integrity and authenticity, but we can get in our own way sometimes. We could further develop our ability to dwell in the spirit of metaphor, become multi-lingual in faith aspirations...but that's another sermon.
Author and Unitarian Universalist minister Robert Fulghum spoke of his childhood encounter with the Lord's prayer. His mother's maiden name was Howard. The Howard family was spoken of often in the household. In the first years that Fulghum recited the Lord's prayer, he would say: "Our Father, which art in heaven, Howard be thy name." Fulghum felt well connected to the Divine Presence, almost as if it were a family enterprise — "Howard be thy name"!(Robert Doss ref.)
I've come to appreciate the Lord's prayer for its powerful simplicity and ability to help millions focus their intentions on gratitude, self nourishment, humility and hope. Though not a prayer that rolls off my tongue naturally, it is one I join in and sometimes lift up in ceremony when appropriate. I do use other names than "Father" in the tradition of gender inclusive language as do many.
Prayer is such a loaded word to some, and such a companion of life to others. The description of prayer is vast and varied. What a pleasure it is to hear mystics and scientists, people who love, people who doubt, poets and scribes talk of prayer and how it counsels their lives. Often those who reject the concept of prayer outright have chosen to give over the definition to a particular dogmatic view that they reject. It is, in fact, a dogma in itself, to shun the word and process of prayer because of a limited definition that someone else has claimed.
There are some who do, indeed, diminish the possibilities of prayer by locking it into determined formulas without the opening to creativity, spontaneity, divergent god imaging or metaphor. One can have a favorite prayer or a daily ritual prayer, but as soon as it is believed to be the only proper prayer, its healing power diminishes, it becomes stagnant in the merely human estimation of the connection to that which is eternal and ever changing.
There are those who say it doesn't matter if you pray and others who say that those who do not pray are living off those who do the intentional work of manifesting well being. In fact, the monastic life was imaged historically as a place that provides the positive energy of constant prayer to help sustain the world. And the Moslem call to prayer is meant to follow the sun five times a day, so that around the world, as each prayer is uttered by the position of the sun traveling across the sky there is a continuous song of gratitude to Allah.
So, then, what is prayer? Basically, it is a statement of intent, an affirmation. This can be done through the mind, with the body, in the spirit, within laughter and tears, anger and remorse. It is applying who we are, claiming what we resonate, in the present moment. The present moment is both what we make of it and much larger than ourselves.
The "much larger than ourselves" part is what many of us struggle with. At least those of us who struggle with concepts of god or the source of all being. What is the focus of our prayer? What hears us? To whom do we pray?
What I was struggling with in my Boston walk was trying to define a focus for the prayer. And to do it with integrity. "The Universe responds," writes Alice Walker, "what you ask of it, it gives." Can you imagine what message I was relaying? (Demonstrate yes-no effect) In my need to do it just right, I was seeking to control rather than connect. I ended up basically claiming my confusion, so, the universe responded...ok...confusion is yours...love you still.
"The power of our intention is the key to praying always," writes Regina Sara Ryan in her book Praying Dangerously, "Our intention turns an unconscious life into a life of prayer, and even a weak intention is a good beginning... If we waited until our intention was totally pure and altruistic, we would never pray. Our initial intention gets us to the altar or the meditation cushion. Over time, "she assures, "our intention evolves and our practice becomes..positive." (40)
It is important to risk or embrace a focus to our prayers, but not with the tyranny of the need to be right or the expectation to be answered in a certain way. The act of prayer, the honest offering of self to the moment, engages creative response. That is all and that is enough to get us started.
The universe responds...what you ask of it, it gives.
But the universe...is HUGE! How can one begin to address the universe? Enter....historic god and goddess imaging...something relational to connect with. Rabbi Harold Kushner spoke in a PBS series some time ago about his own imaging of God. He shared that he realized his summoning of God as a person helped him enter into the place of prayer. He realizes his image was limiting, but it companions him through a window into deeper knowing. So he invokes his image of God to create the personal entrance way and sense of home that gets him to that place of prayer... that place of blessing being.
We do so much damage to each other and to our evolution of being when we limit praying or praising or petitioning by claiming resolutely who or what hears us. It turns into what Ann Ulanov calls "religious bullying and sadism" to insist on cornering the image of ultimate being and detaching from others if they disagree. We haven't the capacity to fully know what dwells beyond our senses and in all things...but we do have the capacity to be in full relationship with it. What theologian Martin Buber coined the "I—Thou" relationship. Prayer helps us practice that relationship. It tends it, minds it, inspires it, enfolds it, empowers it — the relationship to inner peace and outer affirmation, the claiming of the grand and enduring Yes that sparked the universe.
It begins with focused intention. A gardener, digging hands deep in the soil with gratitude and wonder, sends out a prayerful intention as powerful as any utterance in prayer. A teacher, opening heart and mind to students, welcoming challenge and surprise can resonate being as potently as a shared moment in prayer. The cry of pain and longing in war ravaged poverty can send a shiver throughout the world as powerfully as any prayerful petition.
It is, in fact, in pain that many first begin to pray, seeking solace or an end to troubles. Breaking out of the isolation of our despair takes a leap of faith, a belief that there is more present in reality than what we are feeling. It takes a leap of faith to find connections and welcome unrealized possibilities. When we take that leap, we are in a state of prayer. Prayer is the act of inviting that something more to touch our lives and help us regain a sense of our ground within the great web of being.
"Give us to know, O God," wrote Unitarian minister A. Powell Davies, "how vain are all our hopes, how empty all our prayers, until we ourselves are ready to fulfill them."
Nobel peace prize winner Jimmy Carter, in a recent interview, spoke of prayer as part of his life. He shared that when his prayers were unanswered, or the answer seemed to be "no", he then examined the intent of his prayer. Was it self serving? Did it lend itself toward manifesting the higher good? Did it ignore the present moment or the needs of others who might be affected? Was it honest .....whole hearted?
Prayer is about letting go of control and taking charge of our own responsibility. It is about setting energy in motion, not about cashing in favors or orchestrating reward and punishment. The consequence of our prayers is not predictable. It's not the point of the prayer. The act of praying with full intent — claiming the connection is what reverberates and heals in ways that we may not understand.
Brother Stendl Rast, a well known scholar and practitioner of prayer, reminds his students that people who are happy are not grateful because they are happy, they are happy because they are grateful. He recommends practicing prayers of gratitude many times during the day. When we train ourselves to see what is given in our lives as a gift, the harder times can then be met with a stronghold of thanksgiving to both help with our perspective and steady our trust on the unfolding days.
For when we assume that all prayers should be answered according to our guidelines, then we feel abandoned by tragedies that do not heal quick enough or betrayed when a loved one dies even amidst our pleas for more time. If we expect constant attention and affection that we can identify, then we will feel abandoned, betrayed when our hard work does not meet our expectations, or when the road is rougher than we think we 'deserve'.
"Look for the answer to prayer not in what you get," comments Rabbi Chaim Stern, "but in what you become."
The Source of Being, given many names and images, that creative impulse which guides us to our strengths, encourages our acceptance of life, compels our demands for dignity and prompts our openness to beauty is constantly available for our witness and understanding. It's there—forever there—not necessarily for our purpose or cause—just blessedly there. And we need only to find ways to remind ourselves of its energy, in us, amongst us and expressed through us.
So whatever you may name, describe or image that which calls you forth to calm the agitated mind, seek beauty, and open your heart to love — may it find you and follow you and attend to you and comfort you. May you find ways to feel its presence and praise the connection. This I pray. Amen.
The thought manifest as the word;Copyright © 2004 Lisa G. Ward. All Rights Reserved.
The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings.