My name is Stacie Beard. I'm the Prevention Specialist at SARC. I am responsible for community outreach and education. I want to thank UUFHC for their continued efforts to bring the Silent Witness Initiative to awareness every year during Domestic Violence Awareness Month. And thank you all for your presence here today.
Lis Wiehl, legal analyst for Fox News Channel and associate professor of law at the University of Washington School of Law wrote on Fox Fan Central: "When you think about the most dangerous place for an American woman, what comes to mind? Mall parking lots? Dark alleys? Seedy neighborhoods? No, no, and no. …the most dangerous place for a woman in the United States is her own home. Domestic violence is the single biggest threat of injury to U.S. women—more than heart attacks, cancer, strokes, car accidents, muggings and rapes combined!"
Certainly, the downturn in the economy hasn't helped matters. Here are a few of the headlines I uncovered from across the nation for the period July 2008 to June 2009:
Every day I hear questions like "How has SARC faired in all of this? How are the families coping? Is violence on the rise these days?"
It is difficult for me to contemplate the big picture answer to these questions. It's too overwhelming. Instead, I focus on the smaller, more individual pictures. I think of the two young students I met at a high-school career fair who described to me repeated acts of domestic violence they had witnessed against their respective mothers. One of these girls wanted to be a lawyer and the other wanted to be a social worker, and they both wanted to help others. I think of the young cosmetology student who tearfully related how her ex-boyfriend was stalking her, and she asked what she could do to take back control of her life.
In the dynamic of domestic violence, I see three entities: the victim, the perpetrator, and the bystander. Of course, not all of us are victims. Most thankfully, not all of us are perpetrators. But all of us are bystanders. And I'll bet that if we listen carefully enough, we can hear every day something that smacks of domestic violence, particularly violence against women and girls. It's in print-ads, on television and the internet, on the radio. It's in the conversations we hear in the office, in line at the grocery store, while we're watching football with our pals. It's even at the school bus stops.
Listen. It's in the comments of our buddies at the football game: "I'm gonna get me a piece of that."
Listen. It's in the words parents say to their sons on the playground: "Quit crying like a little girl."
Listen. It's in the innocent words of children: "Carrying an umbrella is girly."
None of these comments are overtly violent, but they all carry the message that being female is somehow second-class. Domestic violence is a learned behavior. We learn it somewhere between being born a sweet, cuddly baby and growing to adulthood. We learn it from what we see and hear around us. We watch and listen and learn.
At SARC we provide the resources to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking that we hope will empower them to take back the power and control that has been wrested from them. We're doing all we can, in these difficult financial times, to offer a 24-hour helpline, 24-hour hospital companion service, crisis intervention, safety planning, safehouse services, counseling, and legal advocacy and representation.
But like any difficult task, we cannot do it alone. We need your help. We need you to be our eyes and ears in the community. Listen to what is being said. Step in when you cross the path of put-downs. Challenge the gender role stereotypes you hear and see. Lead the way to a brighter future for not only your daughters, but also your sons. Everyone deserves to be safe and happy. Together, we can make that a reality.